This blog is based on Kati Ojeda’s webinar for Mothers in Business on 13 February 2024. Kati is a therapeutical coach, registered nurse, and healthcare professional.

Parents are put in several new situations and even with careful planning, they may feel uncertainty about themselves, their parenting, or their resilience.

When moving to a new country, or in any big life change, such as having a baby, we experience different stages of emotions and feelings as time goes by (based on research by Mielenterveysseura):

As the change happens: You can have happy thoughts, be apprehensive, or you can feel challenges coming up.
Once the change has taken place: Honeymoon phase, you are happy and excited about the new happening, everything is exciting and new.
After some time: The challenges become bigger than the positive sides can fade, reality strikes and you can even get disappointed, maybe a little lonely in your new setting. This is a clear dip in the change process.
The dip continues: This is a reaction phase, negative emotions can arise, you can even react with physical pain to this stress and anxiety.
Fixing phase: After the dip, you still feel sadness, but you are already noticing many positive sides and good things, life goes on and feelings find somewhat of a balance.
Re-orientation phase: Here, you reach a new sort of stability in the changed situation.

With Kati’s go-to tools for building resilience, you can manage any phase of a life-change with increased well being, balance, and strength. Here is a summary of the tools that you can take into your life immediately:

Breathing: Take calm breaths in and long exhales out, this relaxes your nervous system even within a short moment. Breathing exercises can be done several times in a day, alone, or together.
Recognize your needs: Parents often care for and even anticipate their children’s needs while they should also be aware of their own needs in any area of life, such as rest, nutrition, relationships, feelings and emotions, physical exercise, hobbies.
Work with feelings and emotions: When you feel that an emotion takes over and you are no longer able to act as you normally would, ask yourself, where does this feeling come from and what does it tell you? This is a very good method to come back to your balance.
Communication: While being aware of both your family’s and your own needs, it is important to communicate about them as persons around you may not be able to see or interpret them in you. It is very beneficial to say out loud what you need. “I need some time alone”, “I need help”, “I need a hug”, “I need 5 minutes of peace”. This will be key for the whole family’s well being as e.g. children can also learn that parents have their own needs as well.
Meta-work pie: To identify what you may be lacking, what you want more of or less of, you can create your own Meta-work pie where you list all the things that you take care of; playdates, kids’ parties, clothes for daycare, home, food, schedules, doctor’s appointments etc. Draw a circle and color the area each task takes. The result is a pie with several slices, some smaller (like dentists’ check-ups), some bigger (like driving children to hobbies several times a week). Is there something that you can take away, or that you could transfer to someone else?
Focus on your breaks: When you get or you take a break, use it well to recover. If you use your short breaks for social media and read content that creates strong emotions, instead of relaxing, you are taking your anxiety levels even higher.

You are in charge of creating your steps towards the change and with these tools, you can increase your wellbeing and resilience efficiently.

This blog post is based on Kati Ojeda's open online lecture organized by Mothers in Business on February 13, 2024. This blog was written by Anne Liljestrand, the facilitator of MiB HUB: Resilience for parents - balancing stress and resources.

WATCH THE RECORDING OF THE ONLINE LECTURE HERE