Livia got to know MiB a few years ago; however, a slight language barrier has kept her apart. MiB International needed to be born for activating her at once. Now we are on a journey to build one MiB where no mother is left out – expats or anyone who just can’t shake off the outsider feeling. She encourages mothers who share MiB values to join events, be a member, perhaps a volunteer, and start building your own meaningful moments with like-minded mama friends.
I describe meaningfulness as a feeling when your heart is full, like a glass of water. To me it feels volatile, like every emotion. It comes and goes, and one can never claim to have it, only experience it. I believe many different roads can take you to experience this feeling. I recently stopped to think about my many experiences of meeting meaningfulness in life. Here I share with you a few words about the most recent of them.
In 2017 life hired me as a mother
My neuvola nurse did pretty great at onboarding me into this whole new “industry” known as motherhood. Yet, I constantly felt as an outsider whenever I met new people in this “job”. At baby classes local moms, who had just met each other, would chat and schedule meet-ups, but I was never invited or talked to. I felt ignored and pretty uncomfortable to push myself into the groups; thankfully pretty soon I remembered I had my amazing friends and so I stuck with them.
For 12 months of motherhood trial period (parental leave) I dedicated myself 100% to this role, learned the ins & outs, and felt pretty confident by the time the training expired. Then my job as a designer picked up again. I was so much busier now, but still I made a point to write a revengeful text titled New moms, you don’t need mama friends.
In 2018 I found MiB and became a member
Maybe those moms during the first year just did not have much in common with me. But these career-oriented mothers, they will include me! Well, soon I realised there was nothing for me in English there. Especially, I would not dare to attend any face-to-face activities cause the outsider feeling was too real.
So I took the approach I have honed in Finland for the last decade: I did not leave. I just stayed there, quietly in the background, with an “opportunity mindset”. I improved my reading and writing skills in Finnish, and soaked “insider” information from MiB moms – learned about things that had been completely out of my reach.
In 2019 I got a third job
Now I was a mother, a designer and a thesis researcher. For years, I had also searched for a meaningful volunteer job. Of course this was exactly when the opportunity to become active in Mothers in Business showed up. They were recruiting a team for MiB International lab project to kick-start activities in English. I may have been the very first to apply or so, and I was the only expat in the team.
In 2020 I struggled, like everyone else in the room
But besides struggles I also gave birth, earned an MBA degree, organised events, helped recruit more talented international volunteers to our team, and supported MiB International lab project to succeed becoming a part of MiB’s growth strategy. All of this while breastfeeding 100% and sleeping 10%.
And finally, I made mama friends (!) with amazing inspiring international and internationally-minded mothers, all supporting each other as peers, volunteers and collaborating like real pros.
In 2021 the work continues
Right now I feel empowered to deconstruct the outsider feeling one step at a time. And this energy is what fuels me forward when daily life gets heavy, so that one day any international mother out here can feel they belong and have meaningful encounters.
That’s why I am a MiB volunteer, and inclusive team work is the reason why all this means a lot to me.
Livia Hakala
Livia Hakala is a MiB International and MiB Helsinki volunteer since 2020. Originally from Brazil and freshly espoolainen, she is a 33-year-old mother of two young boys. Living and working in Finland since 2010, Livia currently works in business innovation consultancy, as a designer leading user experience and service design projects. Weekends she spends with family and best friends around good food, nature, arts and crafts.
Do you speak English and want to join Livia and other moms to promote diversity, inclusion, equality and family-friendliness in working life across Finland?
